Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Screenwriting Structure Wars: The Ultimate Secret

So what's up with screenplay structure anyway? Do you Save The Cat or have My Story Beat Up Your Story? Are you a three-act adept, a four-act aficionado, a fervent five-acter or do you scoff at acts altogether? Do you bravely embark on the Writer's Journey or do you try to have Something Startling Happen every minute? What teacher/guru/manual do you follow above all others? Who deserves to be deified, and who should be thrown on the trash heap of history? Or should you throw all structural models overboard and blindly follow your instincts?

Here is the secret truth. Don't tell anyone I let you in on it.

Use whatever works for you.

The only thing that matters, is that you are able to tell the story you want to tell, in the best possible way. And that means structuring the emotional response of your audience to maximum effect.

So they will feel what you want them to feel, at the moment you want them to feel it. So they will be ahead of or behind or at exactly the same place as your characters, when you want them to be. So they will be able to follow the characters' transformation, or thrill at their exploits, or rail against unjust fate when tragedy strikes them down - just as you planned.

In a way, the proliferation of different structural models is a blessing: it allows writers to experiment, find whatever method they are most comfortable with - or develop their own variations on a theme.

It also gives you the opportunity to select different structural approaches depending on the type of story you are trying to tell. Sure, most of the models out there are explictly Hollywood-based, but recently the Save The Cat website posted a convincing analysis of Michael Haneke's Amour, an art-house film through and through.

So, if a structural model helps you create, use it and don't feel guilty! And if they feel too constraining - ignore them! Just get that script written, and make it the best it can be!

Bullet To The Head - When Good Buddy Movies Go Bad

Bullet to the Head Poster.jpg

It should have been a match made in heaven: Walter Hill, writer/director of many action and Western classics in the '70s and '80s helming a resolutely old-school buddy-action-noir movie, set in New Orleans, and featuring an aging hitman (Stallone) and a straightlaced young Asian cop (Sung Kang) who team up reluctantly to solve a couple of murders and  uncover a real-estate conspiracy by a slimy lawyer (Christian Slater) and a corrupt African potentate-on-the-run (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). The bad guys have a nigh invincible mercenary on their side (Jason Momoa), who fights Stallone in a fire-ax duel. And to top everything off, Stallone even has a hot daughter (Sarah Shahi) who earns a living as a tattoo artist and gets involved in gratuitous nudity!

 So what went wrong?

Somehow the screenplay manages to botch the most fundamental aspect of a buddy movie: the buddy relationship.

 Stallone the old-school assassin and Kang the by-the-book geek cop hate each other from the start. And they spend most of the movie in each other's company - hating each other all the way through. In other words, the relationship is static instead of dynamic. The same story beat is repeated over and over. Cop wants to arrest assassin when all this is over, hitman is pissed that cop doesn't respect him after saving his life for the umptieth time.

 The only progression occurs at the very end - and then it's a pretty big leap from mutual loathing to respect. The emotional change feels forced and way overdue.

Now, there are a few funny scenes between the two, especially the driving scenes in Stallone's car, and both actors have a good rapport going. But even these scenes stick to replaying the same beat: Stallone trumps and humiliates Kang, no matter the subject of their conversation. There's no real debate: Stallone's way is correct, Kang's is wrong, and we're never allowed the opportunity to forget it. Whereas any decent buddy movie made sure that the 'wild guy' learned a little bit of restraint from the 'square guy', and the square guy got to release his inner beast. Cliché, yes, but at least it works. Sabotaging this character dynamic without replacing it with something different and/or better, just cripples the film. And it makes the lead characters come across as very one-dimensional (and I'm not talking about the hottest boy band on the planet now).

It doesn't help that the conspiracy that gets revealed is so ordinary and uninvolving. The external storyline doesn't provide enough intellectual stimuli to keep the audience enthralled/surprised/excited througout the film. Neither villain has any depth or complexity (though they are plenty stupid). Their only reason for existing is so that they can send an army of goons to trouble our battle-happy heroes.

So the lesson here is: if you're going for a straight genre film, be sure to use the expected genre elements in the right way. The audience expects it, and when their expectations aren't met disappointment is sure to follow.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Premium Rush (2012) - Let Go Of The Damn Brakes!

In David Koepp's Premium Rush (written by him and John Kamps), the protagonist, Wilee (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is a bicycle courier whose bike has no gears and no brakes - as, he tells us and his ex-girlfriend, brakes are dangerous.

It's bizarre, then, that the screenplay continually slows down when it should be speeding up. And not once, but several times.

Things begin pretty well, as we open with JGL flying through the air after a crash, and landing hard on the Manhattan concrete. And then the movie rewinds to an hour and a half earlier - and the audience is primed for a real-time story frame.

At first, it adheres fairly well to this premise: Wilee finishes one job, gets another, picks up an envelope from his  ex-girlfriend's ex-roommate, and is accosted by a weird man who wants the envelope back. He refuses, cycles away at great speed, but is chased through heavy traffic by his antagonist (and a bicycle cop also joins in the fun). Storytelling is zippy, there are lots of fun little flourishes, some great practical stuntwork and effective POV 'you-are-there' shots which transport the audience onto the bicycle seat.
Finally, Wilee escapes his assailant and does what any normal person would do - he goes to the cops to report the assault. And to his horror, he discovers that the mystery man is a cop himself.

So, great setup, original action sequences low on pyrotechnics but high on impressive stunt work, a special milieu (the fraternity of authority-baiting, tattoo-sporting, speed-loving bicycle couriers - who knew?) - all the elements for a fun, fairly original adrenaline rushing action movie are in place.

And then we get a flashback.

Technically, of course, we're already in a flashback, but that one 'didn't count'. The forward impetus of the storytelling was strong and clear. The first flashback - a fairly lengthy one - tells us who our villain (Michael Shannon) is, what predicament he is in and why he has to get his hands on the envelope Wilee is carrying.

So when the flashback ends, we expect things to take off again (we're in the second half of the second act by now). And they do, for a while. And then we get another flashback. About the young woman who gave Wilee the envelope. And then we get another.

And all the while, the chase motif is almost completely forgotten because the villain sets a trap which means he's waiting at the end of the ride.

Okay - the protagonist and the antagonist cannot meet up again until  5:00 P.M. (the time at which the film started before it flashed back). So how do you keep a chase going when one of the participants in the chase is just laying in ambush at the finish line?

Well, luckily Wilee has a rival in the courier business who has gotten his hands on the envelope and is unwittingly racing to deliver it to the bad guy. And Wilee has to stop him. So a big, long bicycle chase follows, going through Central Park, but although it has some cool moments and fun obstacles, the stakes are relatively low - and certainly not life-or-death.

Then we come to the moment which opened the film, and to our surprise, the story doesn't end there. It was actually the end of act two. Act three gives us some more bike stunts (though not much chasing), suddenly cuts to China for a few scenes, and then resolves everything neatly. (the China cut is jarring because we expect it to be a flashback but it is actually happening 'right now', concurrently with the action at that point in the narrative). And we are left fairly unsatisfied.

Premium Rush is a perfect example of flashbacks being used in a way to halt the forward momentum of the story. In this film, they bring the story almost to a halt (especially the scenes with Jamie Chung). Just when you want the story to accelerate and you are expecting even more harrowing and spectacular chases, the pace slows down, the stakes and backstory are explained, and frankly, the movie becomes fairly sedate. And it never picks up enough steam again to match the energy and drive of its first half.

Part of the reason is that the way the story is told, defeats the expectations of the viewer. At first, you expect a 90 minute thrill ride, a fairly non-stop cavalcade of chase sequences which become ever more exciting and spectacular. And you don't get that - in fact, you get the opposite.

Even when the story goes on beyond the apparently natural cut-off point is disorienting. You've mentally created a framework within which the story is expected to be contained - but then that framework is shattered, and you need to re-align your expectations with the actual way the story is being told.

Premium Rush would have worked far better if it had been a far simpler story, and stuck to its guns (a chase like you've never seen before. These are the players, this is what's at stake: BOOM! We're off. And we're not stopping - not really - until we get to the finish line).

So, the lessons to be learned here are:

- do not go counter to audience expectations which you have set up, unless the surprise is so exciting and satisfying that the audience is delighted rather than disappointed.

- do not use flashbacks which explain backstory and character motivations at a time when you need to ramp up the narrative, increase the stakes and maximize the excitement.

- if you're selling your story as an adrenaline rush, make sure that's what you are delivering.

Finally, it's also interesting to notice that Wilee doesn't have a character arc at all - except in voice-over. He's a law school graduate who abhors the idea of working in an office and wearing a suit, preferring the continual (immature) rush of physical excitement. It's why his more serious girlfriend broke up with him (she has brakes on her bike). And at the very end, we hear him declare in voice-over that 'some day he may put on a suit'. Well, maybe - but there's nothing in the story which explains his change of heart. In fact, the only character arcing is his (ex)-girlfriend who learns to take off her brakes and see life Wilee's way.

That's progress, I suppose. If only the script had followed her lead...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Secrets Are Out... Bill Martell's 'Act Two Secrets' Blue Book Reveals All!

When Bill Martell finally gets around to finishing his last Blue Book on screenwriting, he will have completed the most exhaustive, practical, inspiring and fun-to-read body of material on our noble profession/calling the world has ever seen. (And at the lowest price, too) In fact, if he's up for it he should then edit the whole bunch of them into one mammoth Ultimate Encyclopedia of Screenwriting.

Act Two Secrets helps the screenwriter navigate the treacherous rapids (or still waters, more often) of the 'middle part' of the script. It's very easy to lose the plot (literally), fail to build the intensity, use too little (or too much) content... But whatever the possible difficulty you are facing as a writer, Bill has solutions for you. So many solutions, in fact, you may even regret not being able to use all of them at once!

The emphasis is, as in all of these books, on tools you can use, not rules. This means that no matter what your personal preference, whether you like to follow a structural model very closely or you prefer to fly by the seat of your pants, you will be able to get the maximum out of this book. Topics covered at length include pacing, creating strong emotional conflicts by using the 4 D's, genre-specific ways of increasing tension and audience involvement, plot devices to keep your story moving, the proper use of subplots, mysteries and macguffins... It's all great and inspiring stuff. And written in that inimitable Martell manner, combining wit, passion and insight in an irresistible package.

A pleasant surprise is that the examples quoted in the book (often at length) do not stick to the 'classics' we've all seen and had analyzed dozens of times before. Here, a number of entries from a recent edition of the Raindance festival are examined in depth. They cover a wide spectrum of genres and countries, proving just how universal these tools are. And it's also a great way to help the reader discover new films to seek out and writing and directing talent to watch out for.

If you've ever needed help on a second act, get this book. If you want to avoid problems in your second acts, get this book. If you like to read screenwriting manuals for fun (with or without the profit), get this book. It's that simple.

And you can get it here:

Act Two Secrets (Screenwriting Blue Books)

Friday, December 28, 2012

3-Act Structure Has Been Declared Dead - Once Again

Tom Lazarus has a new book out, The Last Word: Definitive Answers To All Your Screenwriting Questions. Just got my hands on it, so it's too soon for a review, but while browsing through my copy I stumbled upon the section called 'Rising Action'.

In this chapter, Mr. Lazarus claims that Three Act Structure is dead. Instead, it has been superseded by the Rising Action principle - which is exactly what the name implies. You hit the ground running and things keep building from the word go. In the past, the argument goes, writers were taught to slowly build their world, revealing characters one step at a time, and only getting to the meat of the story's developments in act 2. For contemporary audiences, that's just too slow.

I have absolutely no problem with Rising Action as a screenwriting concept. But it is not a substitute for TAS (cool, I invented an acronym!), or any other story structure. And TAS (ooh, I like the sound of this!) was never intended as a 'slow burn' approach to storytelling. Sure, some people will take a lot of time to put all their pieces on the board. And some teachers or manuals may have advocated or at least presented this slow introduction as the best way to write a screenplay. But mostly, people have been told to get their story up and running as quickly as possible. The very fact that the usual 'place' for the inciting incident is within the first 10 to 15 minutes of the narrative is proof enough of this. As is the fact that the usual 'script graph' always portrays a steeply rising line of action, and that more current depictions of the model point out that every act ends on a climax. What this means, is that every act (whether you have one, two, three, four or maybe more) is structured in a similar way to the entire screenplay. And will, of necessity, consist of rising action all the way.

So, no, I do not agree that 3 act structure has gone the way of the dodo. What IS true (as explained in the Thor-post), is that the structure is mutating, and not in a way which is necessarily conducive to good screenwriting and storytelling. And what is also true, is that the field of screenwriting structure should be opened up to include far more models, to suit different types of story. But that's a topic for another post.

In the meantime, if you'd like to read Tom Lazarus' take on this and dozens of other topics, you can get the book here:

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Mighty Thor or mighty bore?


   Though a seminal movie in the run-up to Joss Whedon's The Avengers, Kenneth Branagh's Thor isn't exactly going to knock your socks off. The reason why is a perfect lesson for screenwriters everywhere. We're not going to cast blame on anyone here, because there were at least 5 writers involved, and it's impossible to know who finally decided on the definitive version of the storyline. But whoever did, made an almost rookie mistake.

   Basically, there's nothing at stake.

   I know, I know. Thor wants to get his powers back. And his jealous brother Loki tries to have him killed after a while and take the throne of Asgard for his own. And there are evil Frost Giants, who work together with Loki in order to kill Odin, king of the Norse gods.

   But none of this really matters. (Spoilers will abound from now on, so I say thee: be forewarned!)

   In Act 1, we witness how Thor causes a major diplomatic incident between the gods and the frost giants. As punishment, he is cast out of Asgard by  Odin and robbed of his powers.

   In Act 2, Thor is now powerless and trapped on Earth, and tries to regain his mystic hammer Mjolnir, now in the possession of secretive task force SHIELD. When he finds his hammer, he discovers he's no longer worthy of it. Oh my! What is a thunder god to do?

    Meanwhile in Asgard, Odin has fallen into the possibly eternal Odinsleep,  Loki takes over the rulership of Asgard (as he should, being the remaining heir), and conspires with the king of the frost giants to let them regain their magic doodah which gave them unlimited power in the past.

    Thor doesn't factor into these events at all.  Only when Thor's Asgardian friends, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, come to Earth to save their pal, Loki decides to kill his brother by sending the magical Destroyer armour after him. Thor sacrifices himself for his human friends, and immediately regains his powers. He demolishes the Destroyer, and whizzes back to Asgard.

  Act 3 has arrived, and Loki lets his frost giant co-conspirators into Asgard to kill the helpless Odin. Except, when they arrive, he turns on them and kills them. And then he starts his big plan to destroy all the frost giants in order to win the love of his dad.

   Which is exactly what Thor wanted to do in act 1, and which caused his banishment in the first place. Loki wants to gain his father's love by doing something his father is utterly opposed to.

   Dumbest Evil Plan Ever, anyone?

   And what's at stake here? The fate of the evil frost giants, a blueskinned race of monsters we don't care about? Thor's life? Hardly - he's so much more powerful than Loki that it's no contest.

   The love of a comatose father who may never regain conciousness??
   And even if this fatherly love is the driving force behind everything, it's a lousy dramatic goal. Because a parent can love a multitude of children. It's not a binary thing - either he loves ME or someone else. Love can grow and expand indefinitely. And a good dramatic goal is something exclusive; something only one character (or group) can have or achieve.

   Net result: there's nothing at stake for the audience to care about. And when the stakes are non-existent, it's impossible to come up with the correct motivations for your characters to do (or not) what they do. It doesn't matter whether you have good performances, effective individual scenes, great art direction, plentiful CGI effects - a conflict without anything worthwhile at stake is ultimately meaningless.

   Witness what Thor tries to do in act 3. He now desperately wants to save the frost giants from Loki's machinations - but why? They're still evil, they haven't changed, he's had no contact with them whatsoever. Answer: it's because your hero and your villain have to have opposing goals. After all, that's what it says in the screenwriting manuals. It doesn't really matter what these goals are, as long as they oppose each other, I guess... His character arc is already complete (he learned humility in the second half of Act 2 and thus is once again worthy of his powers), so there's nothing to be achieved on that level.
   And for the people on Earth, where most of the film takes place, none of these events have the slightest importance. We're all unaware of them, and if the frost giants are exterminated - who cares? If Loki gains the love of Odin - so what?

   Logically speaking, the film's plot should have been about the relationship between the gods and the giants. Thor should have been exiled to the giants' realm in order to make amends for his crime. Getting to know the frost giants better, he might gain sympathy for them (or some of them), and thus have a personal stake in saving them from destruction.
   Or the giants, together with Loki, should have been the prime movers of the conflict, waging war on Asgard on an unprecedented scale. But that would have made it extremely hard for audiences not yet familiar with the character and his corner of the Marvel Multiverse to care about these events and characters.

  So putting Thor on Midgard (our world) is not a bad decision with regards to audience identification. But keeping Thor isolated from the main narrative thrust of the movie certainly is.

   And it wouldn't have been difficult to put Earth in peril. Have the frost giants decide to invade Midgard in order to get to Asgard. Have the destruction of Earth be a key component for the success of Loki's plan. Hey, if everything else fails, take your mortal friends and lovers along with you to your magical divine realm, and put them in danger there. Or - for a stronger Norse mythology feel - have the war with the frost giants be the first step towards Ragnarok, the end of everything - the final battle between the gods and their enemies, where Loki will betray his kinfolk and side with the Very Big Bad Evil Guys, and the entire universe will be shattered - and yes, that includes all of us, folks.

   Now, I don't think that no one ever brought up these points during development. I'm pretty sure they must have been . But somewhere along the way the decision was made to go for this 'low impact' version of cosmic superhero storytelling. We'll probably never know why - but I'm willing to bet budget concerns were involved.
At least The Avengers got it right.  But Thor, Captain America and Iron Man 2 should and could have got it right too.



Sunday, August 12, 2012

The paradigm is a-changing - and not for the better

  More and more screenwriting experts are claiming that 3-Act Structure is dead, and/or that the original Field-inspired paradigm is no longer valid. Rumors of the 3-Act Structure's demise have been greatly exaggerated. But the way the paradigm is being implemented in many mainstream blockbusters has changed, indubitably.

   Unfortunately this change is not resulting in better storytelling. Quite the contrary. What's happening nowadays? Films, on average, are shorter than say ten years ago. They used to be 120 minutes, while now 100 minutes seems to be the new norm.

  This change in length means that the original distribution of major turning points (all together now: end of Act 1 page 30, midpoint page 60, end of Act 2 p. 90, focus points on pages 45 and 75, thirty pages for your third act which includes the crisis, its aftermath and the climax and resolution) is no longer valid. As we're now working with 100 instead of 120 pages. However, act 1 still takes 30 pages. The midpoint, which should now be around page 50, is still firmly ensconced on page 60. Focus point 2 (which coincides with the Dark Night Of The Soul-segment from the Save The Cat-model) is still at page 75.

  But that's when things start to give way. The third act is of necessity shorter than it used to be. Which is fairly weird because this is where we want to provide the biggest oomphs, the most powerful emotional impact, the most riveting revelations. Yet there's simply not enough time to actually give these essential elements their due.

  The second half of act two has also been truncated. You no longer have the 'luxury' of 15 pages to take you from page 75 to the act break. So you're forced to compress your storytelling so you can get to the act 2 break quicker (I would guesstimate that the break now often falls between page 80 to 85). Which means your entire Act 2 climax needs to be rushed.

  The problem we see more and more nowadays is that writers tell more than half of their story at the 'traditional' pace, intended to provide enough story material for a two-hour film. And then they have to rush through what should be the most impressive and memorable parts of the script(and the film) in order to get everything finished on time.

  The saddest thing is that this changing structure is not something discovered and developed by writers in order to improve the quality of their storytelling. It's mandated by economic concerns - shorter movies mean more showings a day and thus more dollars flowing in per diem.

   If you want to see this structure in action, watch Thor (2011). End of act One (exactly after thirty minutes): Thor is banished from Asgard and stripped of his might by Odin. Midpoint (60 minutes): Thor gets his hands on his hammer, but he hasn't yet learned his lesson, and remains powerless. Focus point 2: Thor's Asgardian friends reach him on Earth but his evil brother Loki sends The Destroyer to kill Thor. And then, things get hazy - Thor dies, Thor is resurrected, defeats The Destroyer, zips back to Asgard to defeat Loki and stop his utterly pointless Evil Plan, reunites with his father, and mourns the loss of his whiny Midgard-bound lady love Jane Foster - all in roughly twenty minutes. Which in practice means that none of the Big Moments have any real impact on the viewer, because there's  not enough time to set them up and to have them resound with the audience.

   Perhaps we should redraw the Post-Field Paradigm (Field's paradigm augmented with various and sundry elements from other major dramatic writing theorists) so that it now consists of two thirty minute acts, and two twenty minute acts (and yes, this would kill the three-act model if it were to become dominant in the marketplace). Or, perhaps, a 30 minute first act, a 40 minute second act and a 30 minute third act to cap things off. Which means that the middle of the story would lose importance, and story density would inevitably be reduced. But structural points could be redistributed in such a way that this new paradigm might start to deliver satisfactory screen stories on a regular basis.

   Or we could just go for a 25/50/25-page 3-act model instead of a 30/60/30-page one, and keep everything as it is. Only told faster.

  For the moment, everything is up in the air. Until the next guru comes along...

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Why Green Lantern's Light Sputtered And Died...

A looooong time ago I gave a glowing review to the screenplay of Green Lantern, by Berlanti, Green and Guggenheim. It seemed to be an almost perfect translation of the source material to the big screen. This was a superhero movie I was really looking forward to see.

Then it was released. And the reviews came in.

And I only got around to watching it yesterday. And every negative review was richly deserved.

What happened?

Well, at least one new version of the screenplay happened. I say 'at least one' because who knows how many people were involved with retooling the BGG-draft, and how many times was changed? Only those people in charge of the development process, I guess. And somehow, though many elements were retained, the final, filmed version manages to demonstrate most of the major screenwriting mistakes gurus, teachers, writers and bloggers warn against. Time and time again.

Now, I'm not saying that the flaws in the screenplay are the only reason for Green Lantern's failure to shine his light across the world-wide box office. Production design wasn't always succesful - the dark, murky world of Oa looks awful compared to the high-tech bright and shiny Oa of the comics, the GL costume didn't impress much (especially the face mask), the special effects were 'obviously' CGI and failed to excite, and maybe the whole Green Lantern power set doesn't end itself to live action too well.

Nevertheless, the shot version of the film is overloaded with basic storytelling mistakes.

Such as:

1) An exposition-heavy opening sequence which doesn't affect the audience in the least. We are told the history of the Guardians and the Green Lantern Corps, and their biggest enemy Parallax, who was imprisoned by one of the Lanterns. Fine. We're TOLD, not SHOWN any of this, and for people who know nothing of the GL mythology, the effect is bewilderment instead of excitement or being intrigued.

2) A lack of a central conflict which drives the narrative. Yes, there is a Parallax entity, and yes, there is a man called Hector Hammond who turns into a powerful, freaky telepath/telekinetic. But neither of them are after Hal Jordan's hide for most of the film. And Hal Jordan isn't hunting for them either, or preparing to defend his world, or trying to achieve a goal which the villains can thwart (unless his goal is to simply keep breathing. And even then, they only try to eliminate him in act 3). Only during act 3 do all the threads come together, but it's far too little far too late.

Obviously there is conflict in the movie, and the Parallax entity wants to destroy the Guardians and the Corps, but instead of gunning for their base planet of Oa, it decides to take a leasurely detour to Earth first (because, you know, what do we care if some far away planet we never heard of gets blown up?)because Hal Jordan got the ring of the Green Lantern who imprisoned Parallax before - but it isn't the ring, it's the willpower of the wearer which is essential.

3) Lack of a goal for the protagonist: Hal Jordan is a test pilot who gets fired and then is kidnapped by a green ring which is bequeathed to him by its alien wearer, Abin Sur. Jordan is then taken to Oa by the ring (against his will) for Green Lantern training. He doesn't do so well, and the scorn of lead Lantern Sinestro (well on his way to becoming the biggest Lantern villain ever)is enough to send Jordan packing back to Earth, basically quitting the Corps. For some reason the ring still works for him and he becomes an Earthbound superhero when Hector Hammond starts causing havoc - but there's nothing he wants to accomplish or achieve. He's either dragged around against his will, mopes around or jumps into the fray because that's what the audience knows heroes do.

4)A flawed, unclear character arc. Hal Jordan saw his test pilot father die when he was a child. Now, as an adult, he's a daredevil test pilot too, taking crazy risks and never obeying orders. Not exactly someone paralyzed by fear, rather someone who has conquered it by overcompensating. The only level on which Jordan is hampered by fear is when it comes to relationships - he runs away whenever things might get serious.

But that's in no way an issue when it comes to being a part of the Corps, or in standing up to Parallax. So when Jordan has to 'conquer his fear', the script cannot provide the necessary steps to make that evolution tangible. Basically, the hero 'learns' what he already knows how to do, and it's unclear why or how he learns it.
The biggest setback in the film comes when Jordan is defeated in training by Sinestro, who scorns him as being weak - and instead of fighting back, getting angry, or taking this as a motivation to change, Jordan meekly agrees with his trainer and flees back to Earth. But if he's such a wimp - how did he become an ace jet pilot who takes insane risks every day? By quitting at the first sign of trouble?

5) Pointless secondary characters. Jordan's buddy Tom is just there to serve as a sprechhund when necessary. Senator Hammond provides a chance to cast a familiar face (Tim Robbins) but the Senator has no impact on Hal's life, really. Carol Ferris, the great love of Jordan's life, is just that, a pretty girl who is there to nag at him in order to remind us just how screwed-up he is (as opposed to, you know, showing us how screwed-up he is). There's even a Jordan family reunion which turns out to be wholly incosnequential, because none of his family members are involved with the plot as it develops.

Nor are the other Green Lanterns particularly interesting: Sinestro is opposed to Jordan being a member, Kilowog's just a drill sergeant and Tamar-Re is just there to explain things to Jordan. None of these get any depth, or play off Jordan as a character in any interesting, non-clichéed way.

6) This one may be due to cutting out an essential bit of information from the script or in the editing room - When Hector Hammond develops his powers, he's captured by the secret government organization Checkmate and his father. They intend to experiment on him and either remove his powers or find a way to neutralize them. Hammond takes control of the lab telekinetically, disables the soldiers and straps his father to the examination table, in order to kill him. Suddenly, Green Lantern bursts through a wall and the fight is on!

Except - there's no reason for him to be there. He doesn't know about Hammond being captured, nor about him going berserk. He's just there because otherwise the bad guy will get away with his dastardly actions. It's not even a coincidence - which happens all the time in the comics - where the hero just happens to notice dodgy activity and decides to investigate because that's what heroes do.

The result is that the audience doesn't get caught up in an exciting action scene, but that the audience is going 'Whoa! Where did HE come from!!??' Which means you're losing your audience right at the time you want them to get maximally invested in your movie, because they're wondering about the cause-and-effect logic of what they're watching.

Is it all bad, then? Well... pretty much yes. The final shooting script does solve the one structural problem I had with the BGG script - there, the outer space action was resolved on Oa, after which Green Lantern returns to Earth and has to fight Hector Hammond. In the final film, Hammond gets taken care of before Jordan has to face Parallax (who doesn't get to Oa and doesn't have to face the entire Corps). So in this version, the third act does build more logically to a Big Climax. Too bad, then, that neither third act confrontation is truly memorable...

So, to sum up: a very good script got turned into a bad script, which led to a crappy movie and, more importantly, a stillborn movie franchise. There's a lesson here for you, Hollywood. If only you would learn it...

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Review: Blue Book #8:Visual Storytelling by William C. Martell (Kindle, Nook)

The latest Blue Book is the biggest yet and also the... well, 'best' is such a difficult term to apply because all of the Blue Books have been amazing value and packed to the gills with excellent and essential information. But this latest one is really something special... So let's call it 'First Among Equals'.

Visual storytelling is an essential skill to master, yet something many screenwriters (especially those aong us who haven't had a film school education) often struggle with. So look to this e-book for inspiration, for hundreds of examples, and for some fundamental principles to help you think creatively about getting information across in a purely visual way.

Visual storytelling was at its most sophisticated during the silent film era, and the book starts off with analyzing two films by Murnau (The Last Laugh - no title cards! - and Sunrise, which won the first Oscar for best artistic achievement in 1927) and one by Buster Keaton (The General). And it immediately becomes clear just how much one can communicate to the audience without relying on dialogue - and how many options we have as screenwriters to achieve this. And we're also reminded just how much we can all learn from studying the history of the art form.

But it's not all a trip to the distant cinematographic past. Films examined here range right up to Rise of the Planet of the Apes and even this year's Academy Award winner The Artist. Another film getting the in-depth treatment is Pixar's Up!, which seems to be the most popular animated film for analysis purposes right now. I've read at least three manuals in the last month in which it was examined in detail.

Specific topics include telling us about your characters by showing them in action (in a screenplay, a character isn't what he or she thinks, but does), and especially by letting them make decisions; the importance of locations and how to contrast them with your characters; making goals visible; using time as a visual element; symbolism, metaphors and leitmotifs; and various and sundry screenwriter's tricks to make your scenes and characters come alive.

And at the end of the book, we discover which Blue Books will be updated next, and what other book projects mr. Martell has lined up. Nice to know there's still so much to look forward to.

So - the best written workshop on visual storytelling you can imagine, at a crazy low price. Every screenwriter and film student should read this.

You can get the book here:

And you can get Murnau movies from here:

And Buster Keaton's The General from here:

Monday, March 5, 2012

Review: Writing The Pilot by William Rabkin (moon&sun&whiskey Incorporated, paperback and kindle version)

If you've ever considered writing a TV pilot, get this book.

If you're an executive or development person who want to be able to communicate in a sensible and effective way with writers developing a pilot for you, get this book.

If you've written TV pilots and want to make sure your next pilot contains all the essential elements for a succesful run, or you want to find out more about the potential pitfalls of some ostensibly powerful high concept ideas, get this book.

And if you just want to find out more about what makes TV pilots tick -- well, you know the drill by now.

William Rabkin, writer/producer of over 300 hours of television (including Diagnosis Murder, Monk and Psych) has written the definiive tract on television pilots.

You will learn what the most important elements of a good pilot are (some you will beforehand, some may surprise you), and how it differs from a feature script or from an 'ordinary' episode. What may surprise many, is that certain extremely cool and powerful high concept pilots, which may be very rewarding on their own terms, are actually fundamentally and fatally flawed when it comes to building an entire series off them - especially in the American, 22 episodes/year network environment. Rabkin proves this quite convincingly by analysing and dissecting the concepts behind Life On Mars (American version, which failed miserably) and Flashforward. This section of the book is an eye-opener both for writers and for execs, because a strong high concept can 'blind' the audience to the flaws or weaknesses which will become clearer as the series progresses. I, for one, am pretty apprehensive about Awake, which has a universally praised pilot epispode, but a high concept at its core which makes it hard to predict which way they're going to take the series over (hopefully) many, many episodes.

The strength of the essential building blocks of the pilot is also one of the deciding factors in whether a show keeps going from strength to strength (The Shield was as good in season 7 as it had ever been and the series could easily have continued for a couple of seasons more), whereas others visibly dwindle in quality, though not necessarily in popularity (Nip/Tuck, for instance).

Rabkin also provides an in-depth look at the creation process of two pilots he developed with Lee Goldberg (both of which were ultimately passed on), as well as instruction on how to craft the script for the pilot, and what to do with your spec pilot once you've finished it. Because although the situation has changed since the early 2000's, when spec pilots were a waste of paper, it's still a fact that the doors of Hollywood will remain closed to outsiders who come bearing gifts (i.e. a pilot + bible) unless they can somehow prove it will be a worthwhile and relatively safe investment. Rabkin suggests a strategy to gain access - it's difficult and time-consuming, and not everyone will be able to implement it, but if you do, the rewards can be enormous.

You can get the paperback here:

and the Kindle option is right here:

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Review: The Inner Game of Screenwriting: Twenty Winning Story-Forms (Sandy Frank, Michael Wiese Press)

The Inner Game of Screenwriting promises to teach screenwriters the single biggest thing a screenplay needs to be succesful. The secret of this success is a 'relentless focus on the inner game'. And what is this inner game? Well, it's no spoiler to reveal it, really, as it's explained in the first pages of the book.

The Inner Game is the transformational arc of the main character.

So you might be thinking - didn't I know this already?

Well, yes and no. Author Sandy Frank (who used to work for a Wall Street law firm before changing careers) admits that the concept has been around for a while.

But the subtitle of the book reads '20 Winning Storyforms'. And that's definitely something new.

The unique approach of The Inner Game of Screenwriting is that it takes a thorough and varied look at the concept of the transformational arc.

Mr. Frank distinguishes between two types of inner games: morph and myth. Each type has a number of archetypes attached to it, which are the storyforms of the subtitle. A morph inner game shows the main character going through an outer game (the plot) which causes a transformation on the psychological level (the inner game). A myth inner game shows a character going through an outer game which symbolizes the inner game. This may sound somewhat confusing but the book makes everything clear. It's also worth noting that the myth archetypes discussed here really have nothing to do with the Hero's Journey approach.

The morph archetypes describe all manners of variations on the theme of inner change: for the better, for the worse, or even those instances where the hero is incapable of change.

An extremely interesting chapter is the one about using the enneagram to define your main character's psyche and tailor inner flaws and problems which are real and relevant to this personality type. The enneagram is a personality profilling method, and even if you don't subscribe to its spiritual aspect, it provides you with very complete and multi-dimensional personality descriptions which can be applied to your characters. (One could also use the personality descriptions of astrological star signs to this effect)
What's also interesting about the enneagram types is that each has several subtypes, showing the personality type at its best, 'medium' and worst. So you can use these different aspects of the same type in deciding how you're going to let your character transform, which changes actually make sense with regards to the personality type.
Of course the enneagram is a huge subject which is barely touched upon here (only two of the types are examined in any detail), but Sandy Frank does provide links to resources in order to deepen your knowledge of this

The rest of the book examines structuring your screenplay to maximize the inner game,
the inner game and sequels, remakes and adaptations, and there's also a chapter on writing for television and how the inner game relates to that. There are a few chapters on exceptions to the inner game-rule, and you're also taught how to x-ray a screenplay in order to evaluate its inner game.

One aspect of the book which raised my eyebrows was the insistence on commercial success - as if quality and commercial success are somehow linked. Many movie classics did less than brilliant business when they were first released (look at Citizen Kane for one), so that's a approach to the art and craft I'm not very comfortable with. Your mileage obviously may and will vary.

I'm also not quite sure the list of myth archetypes is all-encompassing - I get the feeling a few more options exist. The archetypes which are presented, are interesting and useful, however, and certainly can get you started.

To sum up: The Inner Game provides you with several ways to implement the transformational arc to your characters and story, and because it does cast its net quite wide, it manages to avoid the trap of promoting just one type of transformational story. It's a 'big picture' book, basically helping the writer develop the overarching story, and as such it needs to be supplemented by more practical manuals for beginning writers. But it is very succesful at providing the screenwriter with a wide array of tools and options for strengthening and deepening the transformational arc.

The paperback can be found here:

And the kindle option is available here:

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Review: Secrets of Action Screenwriting by William C. Martell (Kindle, Nook)

Over a decade ago, William C. Martell published the first edition of Secrets of Action Screenwriting to great success. The book sold out - became a collector's item, even, commanding impressive prices from used book sellers - and was truly innovative. This was the first time a working screenwriter revealed his personal tricks, rules, and insights for writing screenplays in his favorite genre - and in which he had known a lot of success. Never before had a screenwriting manual focused on one genre alone. And never before had a screenwriting manual gone in for a toolbox approach.

When we learned in the past few years that a second edition of Action Screenwriting was in the works, excitement ran high. And around Christmas 2011, the perfect present for screenwriters everywhere was released in electronic book format. Yes, it's too bad we can't hold the second edition in our hands and smother its blue cover with hugs and kisses, but on the positive side, the book is not hindered by page limitations (it's over twice the size of the original) and it can be updated by the author. In fact, it already has been. Your book will only get better and better over the years.

So what riches hide between these electronic covers? I'm not going to do a comparison review, as that's fairly pointless- much of the original material has been revised or tweaked. So we're getting both a thorough revision of the original and a book's worth of new material in one tidy package.

Bill Martell's main emphasis is that action movies are all about characters first, and big set-pieces second. It's something that Hollywood - both big- and low-budget Hollywood - tends to forget to it's own detriment, because all of the classic action movies have a strong emotional/character driven component to put all the pyrotechnics and brawling in context. There are many good examples from the author's own screenplays - many of which unfortunately were cut out by idiot directors, producers and/or actors.

Secondly, the most important thing for an action movie story to work is the villain's plan. Unlike 'normal' screenwriting theory tells us, the villain is the most active character in an action movie and the hero is reactive, trying to stop the villain from achieving his/her dastardly goal. Time spent on devising a good 'bad' plan for an action screenplay is time very well spent.

Apart from the literally hundreds of suggestions and examples for tweaking clichés, piling up the suspense and tension, and getting character across without dialogue (among many, many others), this is also the first time Bill Martell reveals his relatively new concept of 'The thematic'. Useful for every type of screenplay, it's a unifying element of the script and probably the closest Martell has gotten to a 'high concept screenwriting theory', like Field's Paradigm and Snyder's Save The Cat structure. The concept is very well illustrated here in an in-depth examination of Minority Report, but personally I hope it'll be the subject of a future Blue Book, or heck, an entire real-world dead tree book even, as it's a very deep subject which can be explored even further.

The book is extremely up to date, going right up to MI:4 Ghost Protocol, though to be honest many of the best examples come from older films, with Die Hard still taking the top spot.

We're also introduced to a very good technique for understanding screenplay construction: Bill Martell advises the reader to do a timeline for their favourite films. This means dividing the film in 5 minute increments, and noting what story beat occurs on those minutes. In the supplimental section, Martell includes scans of several timelines he made long ago, some of films he analyzed to get a grip on their inner workings, some of his own screenplays. It's extremely rare we get to see actual work-in-progress documents from working screenwriters, so make the most of this golden opportunity.

It should be clear by now that if you're in the least bit interested in writing an action screenplay, you NEED this book. And even if you're not, there's so much good, common sense advice within these pages you'll be glad you read them.
There were quite a few typos when the e-book was first released, but it has been regularly updated since then, so the majority of them - if not all - have already been corrected. In any case: my highest recommendation.

You can get the Kindle version here:

And if you're feeling nostalgic and want to splurge on a collector's item:

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Review: Blue Book #10 : Dialogue Secrets by William Martell

Great dialogue is one of the best weapons in a screenwriter's armory to seduce actors into wanting to play a role. So it's imperative that you master this skill. Plus - writing great dialogue, though often hard work, is also just plain fun. Run-of-the-mill or bad dialogue? Not so much.

So Bill Martell's third Blue Book to be converted into Kindle- and Nookdom, is just what the doctor ordered if you're trying to improve your dialogue writing. Now consisting of 40 tips (almost double the amount of the print version), the book also has a few extra dialogue-related essays as well as a detailed look at some brilliantly written scenes, to show you how it is done by the masters.

If you want to write great dialogue, you must of course know how to distinguish it from bad dialogue. Dialogue Secrets has you covered. Several of the tips examine the most current mistakes writers make when writing dialogue - as well as a few more esoteric ones.

The biggest problems you're usually faced with are exposition in dialogue, and making sure the individual voice of the character comes through. Exposition can be a hassle in many ways - characters explaining who they are and what the situation is to each other (when they both already know), or being used as an infodump to reveal the research which the writer has painstakingly assembled to name but two. But rest assured, there are many strategies on offer to avoid these pitfalls, and each chapter comes with an exercise in order to help you actually acquire the necesary skill set.

As for making the characters sound like the individuals they are, this is illustrated beautifully in my favourite tip. Bill describes a couple of dozen barista's he knows in LA. All doing the same job, all having a totally different outlook and personality. What's so good about this section, is that it becomes clear how easily you can paint a portrait of a character in one or two sentences. And if you do the exercise (writing a very short conversation with each of the individuals described in the tip, in such a way that their personality shines through), you will be doing yourself and your writing a world of good.

You'll also learn aout the importance of vocabulary, bumper sticker lines, nexus words, the three-line rule, and much, much more. Subtext in dialogue is also discussed several times, and Bill provides a perfect example to illustrate just how subtext works. Unfortunately (one of the very few flaws of the book), the example is repeated verbatim at least three times.

There's also a section on cursing - definitely the first time that's been given a chapter of its own in a screenwriting manual!

And finally, there are dialogue excerpts from Notorious, Psycho, Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday and, for a more modern approach, Kenneth Lonergan's You Can Count On Me. All of these are discussed in depth.

Bottom line: you get almost 200 pages of practical and often surprising advice, for a measly $2.99. That must be one of the best deals on the internet right now. And you can get it right here:

(Although as I post this today, November 17 2011, there's no pricing information up at the Amazon site. Go figure...)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Review: The Story Book by David Baboulene (Dream Engine Media/Kindle)

A second UK offering up for review now: David Baboulene's The Story Book. Mr. Baboulene is a writer of novels, children's books, scripts - and he's actually doing a PhD. on subtext in storytelling as well!

So how does this book stack up against other story-centered tomes?

First, you need to know the book isn't specifically about screenwriting, but talks about story in all (or most) forms of fiction. However, screenwriting is a very big part of the equation, as the central example used to illustrate the theoretical principles is Back To The Future. And that's a very good choice - though as mainstream Hollywood as you can get, BTTF is extremely well-constructed and has many different levels which all influence each other constantly.

Second, mr. Baboulene throws a big frag grenade at the beginning, causing shock and awe no doubt, when he states that you need to disregard structure when you're creating your story. For starting out with a set structural model may be like forcing a square peg in a round hole. It limits your creativity and may 'disfigure' your story from the start.

Wow, heady stuff. I can hear a bunch of writers whooping with glee and another bunch raging in disbelief.

Do not despair, fellow structuralists - story structure still has a very important part to play and the book also spends a lot of time discussing it in detail. However, in the author's view, the structural model should be applied after the fact of story creation, in order to make sure you tell the story as well as possible, hit all your emotional moments with maximum efficiency, and engage your audience to the utmost. So in fact you get the best of both worlds.

Another crucial point in this approach to story us the use of subtext. Subtext, the story underneath the story, is a crucial element for telling a great story, as mr. Baboulene sees it. And the way to achieve subtext is to work with knowledge gaps - which can operate on several levels. Between the characters, between the audience and the characters, the audience and the writer... all is examined in depth and eminently practical. The research Mr. Baboulene has done for his PhD thesis suggests that the more subtext is present in a story, the higher it is rated by the public. So if you ever needed any encouragement to start mastering subtext...

Other chapters consider the plot vs. character divide (hint: there isn't one), dialogue, the story development process (which offers a way of working any writer can adopt), story analysis, and the commercial realities facing authors and screenwriters today.

To round things off, you get six interviews with professional writers (screenwriter Bob Gale, dramatist Willy Russell, novelist Lee Child and the late, lamented sitcom god John Sullivan), actor Mark Williams (best known internationally for his role of Arthur Weasley in the Harry Potter movies) and publisher Stewart Ferris. Each interview is in-depth and first-rate, and together they provide a wonderful spectrum of approaches to storytelling. Often the advice is totally contradictory - and totally correct in each case.

One of the high points of the book for me is the analysis of one very short scene from Back To The Future. It's barely one minute of screen time, but as David Baboulene conclusively proves in analyzing it, it's chock-full of layers, subtext and has a very strong dramatic structure as well. This is exactly the kind of analysis which students of writing need.

The book is available in hardcopy here:

or at a ridiulously low price for the Kindle version here:

So you basically can't go wrong, and have no reason not to check this book out. As for me, I'm eagerly awaiting the results of mr. Baboulene's PhD thesis. An understanding of story theory that moves beyond Aristotle, Propp and McKee... Sounds good to me!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Review: Scriptwriting - The Mechanics by Guy Meredith

Guy Meredith has earned his screenwriting and script doctoring spurs both in the UK and abroad. Apart from writing everything under the dramatic sun (radio scripts, TV drama and comedy, features, documentaries, stage plaus), he's also been an educator, giving seminars at the BBC, several universities and all across Europe (he was attached to the late and lamented Pilots program). And he's been nominated for a slew of awards.

In Scriptwriting: The Mechanics, Meredith has committed his hard-earned writing wisdom to E-paper for all eternity. It's a relatively short book, coming in at just over 140 pages, at a relatively high price for an 'e-book only' release. But as there's no filler and quite a few topics are examined which show up only rarely in most other screenwriting one-stop manuals, you don't have to worry about getting a bad deal. On the contrary, for new writers especially the information provided in here will allow you to make giant steps forward in your understanding of the art and craft of good (and preferably great) screenwriting.

So, what does the book cover? Well, starting out with the age-old question 'what should I write about', it goes on to define the four story elements (world, characters, plot and tone of the story).
This is followed by an extensive section on character, where special attention is paid to image - self-image, the image presented to others, and the image the character projects unconciously. This is really excellent stuff, and one of the reasons that the work of great British TV screenwriters (Paul Abbott, Jimmy McGovern, Andrew Davies...) comes across as so rich and true to life in the depiction of the characters.
The chapter about inner contradictions in your characters is also pure gold, as is the material about motive and motivation. Essential concepts which are all too often ignored or handled badly, sometimes even by professional writers.

Structure is examined at length. Yes, it's the three-act structure again, but mr. Meredith puts a number of plot points in each act which are different from but comparable to those you'll find in Save The Cat!. It's another good variation on the theme, which will be of great help to new writers and offers an interesting alternative option to more experienced writers looking for some new wrinkles.

And you also get chapters voice-over and flashback, scene construction dialogue, misundertanding and deception, superior and inferior position (of the audience and the characters among each other), and - a first, I think - there's a whole chapter devoted to URST! And if you don't know what URST is - go and buy the e-book, already! It'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask.

So, in short, a first-rate British contribution to screenwriting literature, and especially worthwhile for new and intermediate screenwriters. And you can get it right here: