Script review Warhead (part 2)

The first thing you notice upon reading the Warhead script is how refreshing and comforting it is to find yourself back in the real Bondian universe. Exagerrated superscience, armies of jumpsuited goons, megalomaniacal plans, near-superhuman henchmen, a self-confident panther-like Bond, luscious ladies, astounding futuristic headquarters, a finale that's right out of a war epic... it's all here. And it's been missing in action since For Your Eyes Only.

The second thing you notice is that you've seen this movie before. It's not just Thunderball, it's The Spy Who Loved Me as well. An undersea city that moves, a megalomaniac taking control of the world's oceans... Even Blofeld's henchman Genghis is a less inventive version of Jaws (superstrong, invulnerable, doesn't speak).

In fact, Kevin McClory tried to stop the production of TSWLM on the grounds that it was too close to Warhead. He lost that battle but did stop the Broccolis from using SPECTRE as the villains in their film - which was the original plan.

The result is a script that couldn't have been filmed as written without it being accused immediately of ripping off the 'official' entry in the series that year. McClory couldn't have won (unless he had managed to scuttle the filming of Spy for good).

What about the script itself? It's gained a legendary stature over the years - but is it good? Or great? Or amazing???

Well... it's uneven. The climax - the three climaxes, in fact - would have made for the wildest ending to a Bond movie ever - and I mean that in a good way. To have SPECTRE use the Statue Of Liberty as a base is an incredible idea. Bond stopping the robot sharks in the NY sewers while being stalked by Genghis could have been a very exciting, tense sequence. In fact, the film would benefit from being made today because of the increased quality of special effects - while reading it, I often wondered how on earth they expected to pull off this level of spectacle in 1976-78.

But much of the rest of the script isn't as impressive, unfortunately. That's not to say it couldn't have resulted in an enjoyable 007 romp, but there are definite weaknesses which should have been addressed.

Structurally the film sticks very closely to Thunderball in its first act (everything up to the recovery of the nuclear bombs). The details are different, of course, and Blofeld takes center stage as the main villain, but the similarities constrain the narrative. In fact the only major differences are the capture of the plane of the UN Secretary-General in the opening scenes, and Petacchi's attempt to kill Bond during the parachute lesson (both sequences are more elaborate and make more sense in the James Bond of the Secret Service draft).

Interestingly, there is no pre-title sequence: it's noted as still to be written. The result is that the first act of the film is largely devoid of action. Luckily, the SPECTRE base and Blofeld's plan are so huge and spectacular that they capture the attention of the reader, but when the focus returns to Bond, the story treads water.

Once Bond returns to the UK, things start to change a bit more. The interlude with the SPECTRE cleaning lady and Fatima in Bond's home is pure farce (the cleaner even gets trapped under the bed while Bond and Fatima engage in lovemaking) and the demise of Fatima is a strange, throwaway gag.

Once Bond is back in Nassau and infiltrates Shark Island with Felix Leiter, we come to the worst part of the script: the discovery of Domino, the twin sister of Fatima. In one extended scene she has to run the gamut of emotions from being frightened by Bond, trusting him, declaring Blofeld is to be punished for being behind Fatima's death, having sex with Bond and agreeing to work inside SPECTRE as a double agent. Phew! There's no way this would have worked on screen. It also doesn't help that this is the first time we've seen Domino, as there was no mention of her before at all.

Interestingly, there is no chase in this script, nor is there a sportsmanlike competition between Bond and Blofeld - in fact, Bond doesn't face him across the backgammon board but sleeps with his girlfriend instead while Blofeld waits for him to show up at the tournament.

Domino is not very interesting as a love interest: she is abominable at being a double agent (being discovered immediately by Blofeld and Genghis) and she spends most of the rest of the script off-screen again. The Thunderball-approach of having Domino be Petacchi's sister, and involving her from the start in the investigation, was far more effective.

After Bond and Leiter are captured and saved from the death trap, the script becomes completely different from the original. Once Blofeld's threat is announced to the world, there is a strange 'dedoubling' of the master plan, though. If the UN do not acquiesce to his demands, Blofeld will blow up a city. If that doesn't work, he'll dislodge the Antartic ice cap. Why not go straight for the ice caps instead? Or stick with blowing up cities until the world surrenders?

Nevertheless, Bond, M and Q discover his target (New York) in a scene full of terrible expository dialogue, where Bond also suddenly becomes a scientific super-genius. It's a clear case of getting the infodump over with so we can get to the good stuff.

Luckily that good stuff is very good, even though the Bond - Genghis fight could have been made to be far more spectacular and suspenseful, and the final defeat of Blofeld is accomplished by pure luck on Bond's part.

Structure-wise, then, the script is a bit wonky. There's too little going on in the first act, especially from Bond's point of view, the to-ing and fro-ing from the Bahamas to London and back is pointless and once again works against the momentum of the narrative, and the love interest is the weakest part of the film.

Moreover, Bond only gets involved in the case around the midpoint - which is very, very late indeed. Tightening up the first 70 pages (of a 140 page script) and adding some investigation and jeopardy for Bond would have worked wonders.

This also means that once Bond really gets involved, there's not much room left for him to get active. One infiltration leads to both the seduction of the villain's 'piece of posterior' and Bond and Leiter being captured. And after his rescue, Bond goes straight on to the third act pyrotechnics.

It's also very strange that no one tries to find out whether the UN plane passengers and crew are still alive or have all been killed by SPECTRE. It's as if the governments of the world don't really care about them. This plot element might better have been deleted completely.

Dialogue throughout is serviceable, but the one-liners (with some exceptions) are fairly disappointing. Luckily, though, Bond isn't the compulsive quipster he became during the Moore years, and the action scenes, no matter how exagerrated, are taken seriously. There are no lame gags added to these scenes to deflate their seriousness - another aspect of the Moore years that really took the films in the wrong direction. Strangely enough, this trend started after The Spy Who Loved Me.

Bond is also 100% Bond in this film: a human panther, a womanizer, lethal opponent and slightly rebellious prep school boy all in one. There's but one moment which I find puzzling: when Petacchi saves Bond and Fatima from drowning in the Jacuzzi (disguised as Hellinger), he warns Bond to stay away from Fatima. Bond replies by dousing him with water: an incredibly lame, childish reaction. The ill-advised assasination attempt also results in Petacchi being beaten up and humiliated by Bond, not in his death - they still needed him in the plot for the big SPECTRE nuke robbery! However, both these moments could have been removed from the script because it reduces Bond and his opponent to the level of murderous little boys.

As for Blofeld: he's perfect, the ultimate mastermind villain - although I don't understand why his goal in taking over the sea is to end pollution. That's a GOOD thing, isn't it? Shouldn't his plan have been... evil? As in, no ship is allowed to sail anywhere without SPECTRE permission? Or the seas becoming a refuge for every villain, criminal and murderer in the world as long as they pay SPECTRE for the privilege? The anti-ecological bent of the Bond-stories is continuing to this day (in the abysmal Quantum of Bullsh... uh, Solace), and it's really regrettable.

Warhead has all the necessary elements for making a great Bond movie, and it also takes itself seriously enough to avoid deliberate campiness (once again with the exception of the bedroom farce sequence). But structurally it's not as strong as it should be, and some of the secondary characters come off pretty badly. Nevertheless, it's a trip to Memory Lane and one of the most fascinating might-have-beens in cinema history (right up there with Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly almost starring together as the leads in Stanley Donen's Give A Girl A Break).

Mission accomplished, 007.

You'll never get to see Warhead, but these three films are as close as you can get to the experience:

Script Review: Warhead (part 1)

Ah, the Seventies. When Bond was still Bond (well, sort of)...



And not a whining pussy who dumped his girlfriend when she came 'too close' (among other things)...




Or a dumb, humorless thug whose investigative skills amount to killing people and checking their cellphone for the next Major Clue...



... And when the REAL Bond...




...got together with producer Kevin McClory and (ostensibly) thriller writer extraordinaire Len Deighton to write a script for an alternate Bond film. I say ostensibly because the copy I've read has Deighton's name crossed out on the cover page, acoompanied by a small handwritten note from Deighton that nothing of his is in the script.

The reason for the attempted alternate Bond series, and for the fact that it's a remake of Thunderball (as was the later Never Say Never Again), can be found in the amazing book The Battle For Bond, by Robert Sellers and edited by Tomahawk Press. Any Bondophile owes it to themselves to get this - it's an awesome treasure trove.

We're going to concentrate on the fruit of Connery, McClory and (ostensibly) Deighton's labours, the script for Warhead, which itself was based on the script for James Bond of the Secret Service. The differences between the two versions are minor - JBOTSS is even closer to Thunderball, having Emilio Largo as the main opponent. Apart from this, the opening sequence is clearer in the earlier script, and the henchman and the underwater base are renamed, and Largo's demise is a copy of the end of the original film. But apart from that, these scripts are largely identical.

In order to get everyone up to speed, we'll start with the:

SYNOPSIS

A plane is swallowed in the Bermuda Triangle by an movable underwater city/secret base, Aquapolis.

Immediately after, we meet James Bond at a tropical diving training facility, Shrublands, up to his usual seductive tricks. At the resort we also meet CIA agent Hellinger and his doctor and lover, the luscious Fatima Blush.

Back at Aquapolis, Blofeld arrives for the annual SPECTRE board meeting, together with his giant Mongol henchman, Genghis. After dealing with some incompetent members, he reveals his new plans for the future: SPECTRE will lay claim to all the world's oceans. The first demand to the nations of the world will be the immediate ceasing of all pollution - any country that disobeys will have its elected leader killed.

In order to get the nations of the world to agree to SPECTRE's dominance, they will launch Operation Hammerhead, and for this they need to get the nuclear missiles from a wrecked Russian submarine.

At Shrublands, Bond meets up with Felix Leiter and attends a CIA briefing where it's revealed the Chief Secretary of the UN has gone missing with his plane in the Bermuda Triangle, and an anonymous threatening message has been issued to all nations that this is but the first step in their plans. Leiter reveals to Bond that the CIA is going to salvage a Russian submarine wreck, and Hellinger is the expert in the matter.

That night, Fatima helps smuggle Genghis and a man looking just like Hellinger inside Shrublands. Bond notices something is amiss, and in order to save the mission Fatima seduces him. As they make love in a jacuzzi, Hellinger tries to drown Bond by altering the controls of the jacuzzi and then is murdered by Genghis and replaced by his double, Petacchi, who rescues Bond and Fatima from drowning but immediately gets into a quarrel with Bond.

The next day Petacchi tries to kill Bond during a parachute lesson. Bond survives and beats up Petacchi.

But Petacchi has other things to worry about: soon he's on board the CIA vessel in order to steal the nukes for SPECTRE, using an electronic device to complete sabotage the salvage ship. The operation succeeds but Petacchi is blown up by Blofeld once the mission is accomplished.

Bond is about to return to England, and Fatima ensures that she accompanies him. He doesn't trust her, but enjoys her company.

At MI6, Bond is briefed by M and Q about the salvage operation gone wrong, and the involvement of SPECTRE is established. Bond is to return to the Bahamas to look into the matter.

Returning home, Bond discovers he has a new cleaning lady (in fact a SPECTRE agent trying to kill him), and then Fatima comes over for some spirited lovemaking. Two men intrude in Bond's home and he takes them out, then Fatima and the SPECTRE cleaner both die when the bomb placed under Bond's Aston Martin blows up. It turns out the intruders were MI6 agents sent to protect Bond from an assassination attempt.

Soon after, Bond and Q find themselves on their way to Nassau, in a military transport plane, and Blofled has been pegged as the main suspect.

Bond and Leiter go to investigate Shark Island, the property of Blofeld, by night, while Bond is supposed to face Blofeld in a backgammon tournament. In Blofeld's home, Bond discovers Fatima's identical twin sister, Domino, who reveals she knows Blofeld is to blame for her death, wants revenge on him, and allows herself to be seduced by Bond. She promises to help him.

Bond and Leiter then go to investigate the laboratory on the grounds, and discover a prototype for a robot shark. They are interrupted by Blofeld, Genghis and his guards, and a fight ensues. Genghis finally subdues Bond and Leiter, being invincible.

Blofeld talks to professor Maslov, inventor of the robot sharks, about the plan: the sharks will be used to deliver the nuclear bombs to the target of Blofeld's choice. Bond and Leiter are put into a death trap - strapped in a Rapid Saturation Chamber which is shot through the tube connecting the chamber to Aquapolis - only Aquapolis isn't at the end of the tube!

Meanwhile, Blofeld has discovered Domino's betrayal and is threatening her with the robot shark. Maslov intervenes.

Q and M decide to have troops invade Shark Island, finding it deserted. Bond and Leiter recover from their ordeal and discover that Domino managed to save them. Now, however, she is missing together with Blofeld and all his accomplices.

A message from Blofeld is discovered in which his blackmailing scheme is revealed. Unless the UN agree to give SPECTRE complete dominance of the oceans, a major city is going to be destroyed, followed by the dislodging of the Antarctic ice cap if necessary.

Bond and Q ascertain that New York is the most likely candidate for being a SPECTRE target, and they quickly meet up with the heads of the CIA to mount an operation to stop Blofeld. Bond deduces that the sewers will be the best way for Blofeld to carry out his threat, and a team of divers is sent down to search for the robot sharks.

Meanwhile, Blofeld and company are holed up in the Statue of Liberty, which has been transformed into a Spectre base. The nukes are on their way to midtown Manhattan.

The divers get killed by the robot sharks, and Bond goes down into the sewers after them. He is attacked by the sharks and by Genghis, but manages to survive. Genghis is ripped to shreds when he falls into the shark-infested waters, and Bond manages to disable the shark with the bomb. Q shuts the warhead off just in time.

This is the signal for the assault on the Statue of Liberty. Bond joins the fray, but Blofeld escapes to Aquapolis. Bond follows but is unable to enter the undersea city and is dragged along by it as it speeds off into the oceans. Blofeld sets course for the Antarctic, ready to destroy the world.

Professor Maslov, however, has had enough and frees the captive Domino, asking her for help. Bond, meanwhile, accidentally gets inside Aquapolis and gets into a huge fight with SPECTRE agents and Blofeld. Blofeld gains the upper hand, but when Aquapolis hits an undersea rock and lurches, Bond presses a number of random buttons, which result in the destruction of the city and Blofeld being shot into the ocean depths. Bond saves Domino and they escape in Blofeld's luxury mini-submarine, and enjoy the compulsory post-bloodshed-and-massive-destruction coital epilogue.


Stay tuned for the rest of the review tomorrow!